Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Somewhere around 30

Sometimes I am filled with a sense
of absolutely breathtaking happiness,
which shakes my very soul,
and in those moments of harmony
the world around me
begins to look as it really is -
balanced and purposeful;
and my inner, mental structure of the milieu,
the universe - and vice versa.
At those moments I believe myself to be all-powerful:
that my love is capable of any physical feat of heroism,
that all obstacles can be overcome,
that grief and yearning will be ended,
and suffering be transformed
into the fulfilment of dreams and hopes.
This is one of those moments.
I believe that Larissa will succeed
in bringing Andriushka here,
and that we shall drink orange juice
and eat ice-creams in Via Cola di Rienzo,
in the cafe Leroy.
I don't just believe it,
I know that's how it will be.
                          --A.A. Tarkovsky

Somewhere around my 30th birthday I came across this passage.  I find it difficult to completely reconcile myself to what he is saying in sections of it, but I feel like I understand it, and that I've been there.  In moments of hyper-awareness, when you see everything at once (or as much as you can drink in), I think that is when you are close to this feeling.  Even memories of these moments are enough to retrieve some of their essence.

Maybe, maybe not.

3 comments:

  1. This passage *is* difficult to fully endorse, but then again, it is all about a feeling, and a moment, and ice cream, and those are things I can stand behind. I can only wish that I will experience more of these moments as I near 30.

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  2. I think you are right Boyda, it is freedom to embrace ice cream.

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