I had a chance encounter about two weeks ago that has left me feeling bothered. I'm ill-equipped to understand what I have come into contact with. I don't feel totally comfortable writing about it, but I want to.
I met Robert Kroetsch, and there were ideas floating around, he was writing...
I heard a few days later that he was killed in an accident.
What is this experience telling me? Is it initiating me into something?
Mostly it is just devastating. It is so strange to have been in his creative space just before he died, why then?
It is something very strange. Mortality, of a celebrity, of an unknown artist all at once. The ending of someone who asked you "have you heard of me?". It seemed like he was so desperately asserting himself, almost in preparation. Leaving is footprints on paths, or something like that.
ReplyDeleteI think you could look at this as a very inspiring event in your life. I feel like that's how Kroetsch himself would look at it. He loved the idea of found poetry and inspiration from random encounters. You should read his poem "The Ledger." I think you'll find some answers there: http://books.google.com/books?id=W4f2Q-hKuAsC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false
ReplyDeleteIf it doesn't provide any solace, it will certainly bring on some mystery, which itself can be peaceful.
Or are you "bothered" because you feel like this event should be a turning point? Do you feel an overwhelming sense of blind obligation?
I guess I feel fortunate more than anything.
ReplyDeleteEver since reading this entry a couple days ago Mr. Kroetsch has become one of the most regular players in my internal world. He keeps popping up in prairie landscapes, and he stands so quiet, as if he's trying to be a wallflower even though he's in the middle of a field. I've never read him, but I think that will probably change when I next get to the library. According to Wikipedia he wrote a book about living in Alberta in 1968, and since I'm still very curious about the late 60s I guess I'll have to check that out.
ReplyDeleteHow did you get involved with him?
I came across him at work, by chance. He asked to borrow my pen and proceeded to compose some verses. Then he told me that I had given him a breakthrough on something and that it was a big occasion. He said he would be back to finish the poem again soon.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read him yet either, I'm going to, but I'm going to give it some time.
I was really bothered and upset by his death as well, even though I had never actually read him. He seems like that kind of person - a mythological presence on the Albertan landscape, someone who "stands so quiet, as if he's trying to be a wallflower even though he's in the middle of a field." Yes.
ReplyDeleteDave (and Forrest), I really can't believe that happened to you.