If there is a dark power which treacherously attaches a thread to our heart to drag us along a perilous and ruinous path that we would not otherwise have trod; if there is such a power, it must form inside us, from part of us, must be identical with ourselves; only in this way can we believe in it and give it the opportunity it needs if it is to accomplish its secret work. If our mind is firm enough and adequately fortified by the joys of life to be able to recognize alien and hostile influences as such, and to proceed tranquilly along the path of our own choosing and propensities, then this mysterious power will perish in its futile attempt to assume a shape that is supposed to be a reflection of ourselves.
This is all a little bit terrifying to me, though there always seems to be some merit to the idea that you have to build yourself up to take on the world. I can't decide if I feel like it is true or not, perhaps that is exactly where Hoffmann wants me.
"...a perilous and ruinous path..."
ReplyDelete"...if there is such a power, it must form inside us, from part of us, must be identical with ourselves."
Lots of thoughts about this. First, I've found that paths I once feared as being perilous and ruinous (but then found myself following) ended up being not quite what I expected them to be. Like atheism or interest in the occult and altered states. Maybe the part of us that judges the path as perilous and ruinous shouldn't be trusted. Or maybe they should, and I'm on the road to ruin; I'll entertain that possibility too.
What he's describing as a "part of us" is what I'd call a demon. Scientologists might name it an Engram. Or we could call it a repressed part of the unconscious. Whatever its name is, it is a part of ourself that we can't see/won't admit. He says its work is "secret." I think the way to beat it then is to walk the treacherous path of admitting its existence, learning what it looks like, and making peace with it (or even doing what the magicians claim to do and bring it under our control and making it work for us).
He says we can deter letting these things "assume a shape that is supposed to be a reflection of ourselves." I think they're a part of us whether we acknowledge them or not, and the joys of life are no protection against them if we pretend they are not a part of our reflection. We're not all good. The dark stuff is there. Jesus had to face the Devil in the wilderness. He couldn't avoid the fight.
I feel I'm speaking too explicitly about this. Far too explicitly; like I ought to talk around it, because by stating my case too clearly I let my ideas get trapped too firmly in the words I've chosen, when what we're talking about is deep enough in us that words can't quite touch it. So, here's hoping you can see past the words and
and now I'm just adding words on top of words.
-Matthew
I guess I can't get much passed a feeling of being interested by this passage, I don't feel like it is something that I can relate to. But at the same time it expresses something very well that must be truthful. I think that acknowledging that some of these things must be part of us is important though, like you said.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that strikes me about these ideas is how specific they are, it feels hard to believe that someone could just think up a piece of dialogue like this. Perhaps it was advice that someone gave him once.
Whenever my meta-cognitive ambitions thwart the progression of my psyche, I take comfort from the great thinkers of our day:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKI-tD0L18A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiblYasnzWE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8xJtH6UcQY
Building on their work, one day perhaps we will truly find contemplative solace.
I think the foxes in the last clip are the most comforting.
ReplyDelete